Have you ever been a part of something so great, so special, so moving that it literally shifts your consciousness? Moving you from one way of thinking to another? Opening your eyes to possibilities you didn’t think exist? Causing you to believe in something much bigger than your self?
This past weekend I took part in a retreat that literally shifted the way I look at the universe and my role within it. We spent what felt like a week, but in reality was about 48 hours, on a secluded island in south-western Quebec. It was beautiful, the most perfect example of Canadian cottage country. Jagged rocks that set into a clear, blue lake. Tall pines, maples, and birches that frame the view. I really felt at home there. The feel of the earth under my bare feet. The moments I close my eyes and feel the sun and breeze on my face. The sensation that takes over my body as I dip a toe in the cool waters. And then the absolute silence that envelops me after I dive in and just float, underwater, for a few moments. It’s perfection.
The time I spent up north was truly transformational for me. I shared the space with ten other chiropractors who were all as engaged as I was in the process. We were introduced early Friday morning and within minutes, there was this feeling of complete trust. Which is necessary in a space that exposes vulnerabilities you didn’t think existed.
Honouring the privacy of the retreat, I will only share what I came away with. These revelations are far from finalized and need much more contemplation for me. But I can see that where I’m headed now is far from where I was headed before beginning this journey 6AM last Friday.
- I am enough. I’ve written about this in the past but it’s very easy for me to go through periods of feeling insecure and unsure. I often don’t feel like I am enough for my husband, for my kids, for my family, for my friends, for my patients, for you….but my biggest take away from this weekend was that I can’t possibly be enough for all of them unless I can own the fact that I am enough for me.
- I love to create and cultivate meaningful connections with people. I do this in the office, while adjusting, and through my other love of writing. It’s something that I’ve wanted to do more of but have been scared to really jump into. Fear of rejection, fear of exposing those vulnerabilities, fear of sounding crazy, and a fear of people (you) not resonating with my purpose. I’m choosing to acknowledge and then quiet those fears. I have committed to writing more and really putting myself out there to submit my articles to publications. If they get picked up, great. If not, I’m okay with it. It’s the process of DOing that is more important to me than whether or not they are accepted at first.
- My power hour. Oh, I’ve missed it. I’ve made up excuses (namely in the form of my beautiful daughter, Maggie, who doesn’t think sleep is necessary most nights) and I am now choosing to stop letting those excuses keep me from something that grounds me. That morning time for me is crucial and it sets the tone of the day for me. I recommitted to my power hour, despite rough nights of sleep, and the last two mornings I started my day with quality time to myself. I’ve been gentle on myself by fluctuating the time a bit (moved it to 5:30ish), which gets me a bit of rest but still fills me with purpose.
I want to leave you with another big take aways from the retreat. It was a simple thought that really puts into words how I feel each time I connect with someone in my office. It helps me sift through the anxious thoughts in my head.
You are exactly who you are meant to be right now. I am exactly who I am meant to be right now. Whether we are tired, rested, happy, sad, excited, emotional, feeling lost, feeling broken, feeling healed, in pain, sick, injured, emotionally drained, hurting, stressed, in balance, bored, engaged, or in any other physical or mental or spiritual state….we are exactly who we are meant to be. And we are the most perfect expression of who we are meant to be. Accepting that concept puts me at ease. Even after a weekend that (quite honestly) turned my world upside down and is making me think about what it is I am doing and how I am expressing my life’s purpose, I feel at peace knowing that I have to be where I am now in order to get to where I will be in the future. It’s not right, it’s not wrong…it just is.
Thanks for reading…until next time.