This week has been exceptionally quiet around our home. Well, our home for the summer. If you remember, we are staying at my dad and stepmom’s home while we wait to move into our new place at the end of August. So, it has been exceptionally quiet around our temporary home. Our two oldest kids, Caleigh and Blake, left to go to the family cottage on Monday. They are spending a week on an island on Georgian Bay. A week full of swimming, canoeing, boating, kayaking, crafts, bonfires, roasting marshmallows, hikes, picking blueberries, and more. I’m missing them like crazy. We fit well together, this beautiful family of ours. I love though that they get these adventures on their own. I have no doubt they are enjoying every moment of their weekend up north.
We have Maggie with us. Just 21 months, it would be hard to convince many people (including grandparents) to take her overnight, let alone for a week. Having just her, being a family of three for a few short days, takes me back to the first couple of years when it was just Tom, Caleigh, and myself. It’s quiet. There’s more significant one on one time. Earlier bedtimes. Earlier to rise. A more relaxed schedule. Easy and quick to get out the door in the morning. No one complaining what’s on their dinner plates. Less mess. Less of the beautiful chaos. But above all, it’s quiet.
And this week, happily and selfishly, I relish quiet.
For instance, right now, Maggie is taking a nap. I have the entire house to myself to do whatever I want. I could nap. I could workout. I could read. I could journal. I could garden. I could just sit. It’s so lovely to have that freedom for a couple of hours. I made some tea and read for a bit and then recognizing I still had time, I’m writing to you. Hello! It’s nice to connect once again.
Coming off such an intense and intimate weekend as I did, it’s good to have this quiet. It’s good to have the time, uninterrupted, to just be with my thoughts. Re-committing to my morning power hour means that I’m dragging myself out of bed in the morning (up at 5:10 today!) but once up, it’s provided me the opportunity to work through the emotions and experiences from my retreat, in solitude. I’ve been able to mentally process, put thoughts down on paper, and then read through those notes. It brings a smile to my face when I think of the people I connected with (so grateful for each and every person I met on that island) and the personal growth that I had. But it also makes me take a deep breath as I reflect back on some of the experiences. Remind myself of the vulnerabilities that were exposed, both mine and theirs. Accept some of the stuff that came up in my head as things that were no longer serving me and had in fact, been holding me back from living a more full and authentic life. And finally letting go of the self-limiting thoughts and beliefs that were deep to my core. It was a deep weekend. A very, very deep weekend. One that I am so very grateful for and that I put every intention into the universe to be a part of again next year.
And now I get to focus on what lies ahead. The path that I get to carve out for myself. Just writing that fills me with a tingly feeling of excitement. It’s unknown, unwritten…but yet it feels familiar. It’s like I’m coming home.
This week was needed. The quiet was needed. As much as I missed my kids, I will be the first to admit that I loved being away from them for a few days. I think had I written that before learning what I did last weekend, I would have erased it and started over. I would have re-wrote it so that it didn’t sound as though I was happy to be away from my kids. But the truth is, I was. I was thrilled to have a break. (There, I said it.)
So, I will finish up and enjoy the remaining moments of solitude before Maggie wakes up. Later on today, we’re headed up to the cottage ourselves. And while being away from my kids was refreshing, I also can’t wait have them run down the dock and into my arms, when I pull in this evening.
Until next time…